Subscribe to the Ho-Down
Waste time on our
What's your favorite hip-hop name for George W. Bush?
If at first you don't suceed, have your 10-year-old program it.
Subscribe to the Ho-Down
Subscribe to the Ho-Down
Most recent articles
If you would like to sponsor the Ho-Down and receive an ad in this
virtu-paper, contact the editor
Note: The Ho-Down is very proud of its low standards and morals. This paper
would like to reflect these low standards in it's advertising. Only ads with
questionable morals will be accepted.
The Ho-Down and Extravaganza would like to introduce you the reader to its
newest column, A Day in the Life. The intention of this column is to give the
reader a little snap shot into the lives of our beloved family members or
friends whom you might not be able to keep in touch with as regularly as you
wish. This being the virgin run of A Day in the Life, we at the Ho-Down felt it
appropriate to start with our darling Deke. So sit back, grab your mouse, and
get ready to do a little catching up with Deke Baley: Man-Gina.
||Derek Alan Baley, April 27, 1975
||Beverly Lynn and Kenneth William (rumoured)
||Crew Chief/Drafter - Suvius Incorporated
And Man whoring.
We begin our journey late Friday afternoon in Virden, Manitoba.
Ho-Down correspondent Ramone "Hot" Carl caught up with Deke in
Suvius's Virden office after a hard day of work in the field.
Deke Baley after working the town late Friday night,
"The Grand Central Hotel is a Gold Mine"
Hot Carl: So Deke! How was your day.
Deke: Fine except Ian was being a bitch to me again.
HC: Is he always a bitch to you?
No just when I wear women's undergarments to work. Enough about him though
let's get ready.
HC: Ready for what?
DB: For some fun Silly!
Back at Deke's apartment.
HC: Why are you putting on make-up?
DB: To pick up men. Say, do you think I should go for the purple eye
shadow or green? Never mind, I like the purple cause the green makes me look
like a slut. Oops! can I say slut.? Hee-Hee-Hee! Sorry, I get such a potty
mouth sometimes. I think it's from when I was working on the pipeline. Those
bad boys really have naughty mouths and boy do they have money to spend if you
know what I mean.
HC: What do you mean?
DB: Do I have to spell it out for you, silly? I'm a male prostitute. You
know, a Man-Gina-He-Bitch.
HC: Sorry, I didn't pick up on that.
DB: Why do you think I'm getting myself all prettied up? Man when I think
back to those pipeline guys, rrrrrr it just gets my motor running.
HC: So where do you do all your whoring now?
DB: Right now I have a pretty steady clientele at the Grand Central Hotel
right here in Virden, but I'm hoping to expand to Brandon very soon.
HC: So what does man-whoring entail?
DB: Well, I hit the bar around 7.00 p.m., let the guys buy me drinks and
yadda yadda yadda, at the end of the night I got myself a pocket full of change
if you catch my drift. Are you ready it's time to go?
"I'm just a regular Joe who happens to sell his
body; is that wrong?"
Grand Central Hotel approximately 7:00 p.m. Deke is out working
his customers. He seems to be focusing on the west side of the bar near the
pool tables. He has obviously done this before. He has it down to an art. He
sits next to an elderly man who looks like he has cash. The man looks like he
might be a banker type. The two are chatting up a storm and the elderly man is
buying rounds of drinks left over right. Deke heads toward the bathroom and
just before he goes in, he signals to the elderly man. The elderly man gets up
and goes toward the bathroom. Ten minutes later Deke appears from the bathroom.
His make up is a little smudged. One minute later, the elderly man exits the
bathroom and returns to his seat with a devilish smile on his face.
Deke is already working his second trick. This time he works on a
man more his age. This man is a rough and tumble kind of guy and it is obvious
that he has major coin. Deke works him with the greatest of ease. Ten minutes
later, both men are headed to the bathroom and ten minutes later both exit.
Deke is working his third trick.
When all is said and done, Deke has serviced 13 men from all
walks of life and he has a pocket full of jingle; $260 to be exact.
HC: Not bad, but don't you think that you are sacrificing your morals.
Not because they are male but because you are using your body to make money?
DB: The money is all fine and dandy, but I'm not in it for the money.
He winks, blows a kiss, then fades into the darkness of the back
alley behind the Central. I can hear him whistling "I'm a lumberjack and
that's okay" from Monty Python's Flying Circus, then there is a tiny
little snicker, then silence. This is Ramone "Hot" Carl reporting
from Virden, MB just behind the Grand Central Hotel.
To you, the reader, we at the Ho-Down hope that this has brought you up to date
with your precious loved one and are looking forward to bringing you next
months feature of "A Day in the Life".