The Hillbaley Ho Down & Extravaganza


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Mob Turf War at the Baley Ranch

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Two members of the Feline Mafioso Family were brutally attacked and murdered last week in what has become one of this century's most vicious mob turf wars. A third member was also brutally attacked, but survived.

In the early afternoon hours of October 23, Vinny “ Stone “ Cartuchi (one of our new kittens) was found dead in the back yard of the Baley household. The Baleys are known Feline sympathizers and it is guessed that the Canine Crime Syndicate was behind the attack as they intended to send a message to the Baleys and the Feline Family. Canine family member Crazy Cooter ("I might be crazy but I sure ain't dumb") was originally under investigation for the brutal attack, but the charges were soon dropped after the prosecution could not gather sufficient evidence.

Adrian "The Golden Boy" Adonis

Just days later, Stephano "Shocks" Cartuchi (the second new kitten) was found severely beaten in the front yard of the Baley Ranch. There were several eye witnesses to this attack, but no one came forward. It is believed that ring leader Adrian "The Golden Boy" Adonis of the canine crime syndicate was the attacker.

Later that same day, Johnny "Hee-Hee" Carbone (the third new kitten) was found severely beaten in the back yard of the Baley Ranch again with several eye witnesses. Carbone was rushed to the Baley General Hospital (the upstairs bathroom) and underwent intensive surgery (a warm bath and a lot of TLC) and remained in critical condition for two days when he was found dead in the intensive care ward (our linen closet).

The charges against Adorable Adrian Adonis were upgraded to two counts of murder in the first degree and one count of aggravated assault in the first degree (yes I do watch a lot of Law and Order) after two key eye witnesses came forward to testify against Mr. Adonis (Cody and Colten). Those charges were later dismissed and it is believed that the Canine Crime Syndicate has tampered with the witnesses (i.e. put on their cute faces and let the kids rub their bellies). Stephano "Shocks"Carbone was released from hospital and is under the care of the Baley Family. He is not talking about the incident, but was quoted as saying, "If I catch the !@#$%^&? who off-ed my two brothers, I'm going to mess him up bad!". At press time, tensions were running high and the local authorities fear that the turf war has just begun.