The Hillbaley Ho Down & Extravaganza

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The Ho-Down's New Look

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Ho-Down readers may have noticed a deceptively large gap betwixt our last issue and this one. The more astute readers (both of them) will also have noticed that the site was down for a brief period in March and April while we re-organized to satisfy what this reporter will call repressive and unholy constraints by Revenue Canada (and, to a lesser extent, Interpol). Our most loyal employee, Papa Louie*, has been hard at work addressing such issues as they arise.

We are faced with a dilemma: How can we continue to output quality journalism at the rate of an issue a month when it can take upwards of three years (and thousands of dollars in "acquisition funds") to properly research a story. Some of our critics have attributed the shortage of content to gross incompetency and a lack of talent and commitment (which reminds me, if anyone would like to apply for a position as a media-critic, a position has just opened up at the Ho-Down).

After much soul-searching and many sleepless nights worrying about the wants and needs of our readers, the Ho-Down has decided to change it's publication schedule. What does this mean for you, our eager and loyal readers? We have come up with a truly unique method to our publication schedule: We will come out with an issue whenever we damn well please! That's right, you heard me. Whenever we friggen FEEL like coming out with an issue, that's when it'll appear. You ravenous beasts have absolutely NO say in the matter. What, do you think we don't have lives here? Do you think we have nothing better to do than spew out words and phrases for your amusement? Think again, Sparky! Our attendance for court dates alone requires a full-time lawyer.

That's not to say we haven't been totally idle, only MOSTLY idle. For example, check out the following additions to the Ho-Down:

There you have it. The new, kinder, gentler Ho-Down for your reading pleasure. Take it or leave it.

And if you don't like it, you'd better re-read our slogan at the top.

*The editor would like to note that Papa Louie is available for hire for various tasks including "persuasion", "fund extraction", and other legitimate business tasks. For more information, email

What do you think of the new look of Ho-Down? See the results of the poll here